#01-098: Jokes - Part I: Knock Knock Jokes

A door knocker in Spain
(Wikipedia)

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Note: "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" "Buzz!" "Buzz who?" Learn how to tell, reply to, and understand this classic form of joke.

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Get Ready: Do you know any "Knock Knock" jokes? If so, tell a few.

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Every culture has some fixed forms for jokes. Let's take a look at some of these in this lesson and #01-099 and #01-100.

The classical "Knock Knock" joke is based on a Question-and-Answer format that both parties must know. As you can see (hear?), it's based on terrible puns: jokes based on words that sound the same or similar. It almost always goes like this:

A: Knock Knock.
B: Who's there?
A: [line]
B: [line] who?
A: [punch line] 

Here are a few examples:

A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Wooden shoe.
B: Wooden shoe who?
A: Wooden shoe like to know! ["Wooden shoe" sounds like "Wouldn't you"]

A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Orange.
B: Orange who?
A: Orange you going to open the door? ["Orange you" sounds like "Aren't you"]

A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Ammonia.
B: Ammonia who?
A: Ammonia little girl and I can't reach the bell. ["Ammonia" sounds like "I'm only a"]

Sometimes the humor comes from the required use of "who" in the fourth line:

A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Boo.
B: Boo who?
A: Don't cry. ["Boo who" sounds like "Boo hoo," an imitation of a crying sound.]

A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: What goes.
B: What goes who?
A: An owl goes "who"! ["Who" is the sound owls make, like bees go "buzz" and cows go "moo."]

Another form of Knock Knock joke relies on the use of a person's name:

A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Doris.
B: Doris who?
A: Doris locked. That's why I knocked! ["Doris" sounds like "Door is"]

A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Al.
B: Al who?
A: Al give you a dollar if you open this door! ["Al" sounds like "I'll"]

A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Denise.
B: Denise who?
A: Denise are above de ankles! ["Denise" sounds like "The knees"]

And another popular form leads to the opening words of a song:

A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Iguana.
B: Iguana who?
A: Iguana hold your hand. ["Iguana" sounds like "I wanna" from the Beatles' song "I Want to Hold Your Hand."]

A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Mayonnaise.
B: Mayonnaise who?
A: Mayonnaise have seen the glory... ["Mayonnaise" sounds like "Mine eyes" from "The Battle Hymn of the Republic"]

Sometimes you can combine forms. Here we have people's names and a song:

A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Jose.
B: Jose who?
A: Jose can you see... ["Jose" sounds like "Oh, say" from the American National Anthem.]

A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Sam and Janet.
B: Sam and Janet who?
A: Sam and Janet evening... ["Sam and Janet" sounds like "Some enchanted"; "Some Enchanted Evening" is a song from the musical South Pacific.]

Had enough? One more:

A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Dummy.
B: Dummy who?
A: Dummy a favor and keep studying these lessons! ["Dummy" sounds like "Do me"]

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Read more: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knock-knock_joke

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Practice: Match the third line (like "Dummy" above) to the fifth, but with the correct spelling (like "Do me a favor...") But be careful: some are tricky!

1. Annie
2. dishes
3. hatch
4. hike
5. lettuce
6. Odysseus
7. pecan
8. spell
9. tennis
10. wa

1. Oh, this is the last straw!
2. Let us in, we're cold out here!
3. What are you so excited about?!
4. God bless you!
5. I didn't know you liked Japanese poems!
6. Anything you can do I can better!
7. Ten is five plus five!
8. Pick on someone your own size.
9. W-H-O!
10. This is the police, open up!

Now put them together, like this (using #1, "Annie"):

A: Knock Knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Annie
B: Annie who?
A: Anything you can do I can better!

Answers are in the first comment below.

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Submitted to the Shenzhen Daily for April 15, 2008